In today’s busy and sometimes chaotic world, it is all too easy to ignore our well-being and forego time for ourselves, sending us into a seemingly never-ending grind. This neglect can lead to mental and physical health issues; feelings of depression, frustration, panic, resentment in our relationships, feeling sorry for ourselves, burnout, & under attack. All of this can ultimately bog us down into victimhood. “The world is against me!” type of thinking. People who see themselves as victims practice at least one of the following trains of thought:
Bad things happen and will keep happening
Other people or circumstances are to blame.
Any efforts to create change will fail, so there’s no point in trying.
Avoiding responsibility for one’s circumstances, not seeking solutions to problems, perpetuating a sense of powerlessness, and persistent self-sabotage or negative self-talk are all aspects of a victim mentality. My mission when I decided to start down this path of service as a Lightworker was to empower people to take control of their lives; to teach people that they are NOT the victims of the world around them.
That’s why I wanted to talk about this sensitive subject today. For most of those living in victimhood, it is a state of mind that has been cultivated over many years and most likely many negative situations. Some of us had no choice through traumatic experiences to embody the victim. That’s ok. We do what we have to do to survive. But when we constantly allow ourselves to play the victim or be victimized, we are really just giving away our power. Looking at other people and giving them all the power for how we feel is the victim mentality.
It’s completely abdicating responsibility for how we feel, because of some powerful perpetrator in our life. Think about that for just a minute. That’s big. Victimhood is not a sign of weakness. It’s a belief pattern that we’ve established in our brain that affects our life, but it does not mean that we aren’t intelligent, capable, amazing people, and it certainly doesn’t mean that we’re not strong.
It just means that we have this mentality, the looping in our brain, a certain train of thought. But today is the day for a change! If this resonates with you then great! I am here today to help you decide to change. I did it and so can you. Let’s get started!
Here are some of the ways I stopped being the victim: “Happiness is a choice I make.” Say it with me, “Happiness is a choice I make.”To reject the victim mentality and start living an empowered life, you have to agree and affirm that you are in control of your feelings. You have a choice.
You have the power! Most of us when faced with a feeling we resist or reject it, bury it deep and try to move on. But we all know that it doesn’t work. We have to learn to allow ourselves to feel the feeling without judgment, allow it to move through us, then release it with love. Got that? That was a lot. Read it again.
Getting out of this mentality takes willingness, awareness, and practice. Oh, yea, and self-love. Second, decide to take your power back. I mentioned earlier how being in the victim mentality is a huge power leak. Again, be willing, be aware and practice. The reason why you are experiencing a negative emotion is because of a thought you’re thinking about the situation, not what someone said or did, but the thought you are giving it.
That’s an important distinction! That’s a big one. If I’m the reason that I’m feeling shame at a certain moment, I still have all my power. If I give the credit (blame them) for feeling shame to another person, then I have then handed over my power to them and I am now in the victim mentality. To get out of victimhood we have to get out of blame and take responsibility for our energy, emotions, and feelings.
Byron Katie teaches when you’re willing to just accept the parts of you that aren’t perfect, you maintain your power. You maintain your ability to not be a victim because nothing can be used against you if you admit it’s all true. So next time someone says or does something and you get the urge to blame them for your feeling, take a moment, breathe, and decide if you are going to give your energy to it.
Can you acknowledge that none of us are perfect, that you don’t have any control of other people’s behavior or opinions, and allow yourself to move on? Can you maintain your integrity of self-esteem? These are big questions. Not easy breezy things to think about. Be gentle with yourself. Be self-forgiving. Again, be willing, be aware and practice.